It’s Thursday, January 3rd, 2013….and taking up where we left off with our Republican Surrender Special, here’s The Gouge!

First up, Hope n’ Change‘s view from the brink of the “fiscal cliff”:

Same Old Story Problem

Well, the New Year is off to a flying start, as long as you realize that Hope n’ Change is tastefully substituting the word “flying” for the f-word we’re actually thinking of. Because the “fiscal cliff” has now been averted owing to a last minute (well, about a day or so past the last minute) deal which essentially gives Barack Obama everything he wanted, and in return gives Republicans the label formerly reserved for Carlsbad Caverns: “America’s Biggest Cave.”

The Senate passed the first draft of the plan, patched together by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and VP Joe “Hysterical Laughter” Biden,  which called for raising taxes on the evil, scumsucking rich, and lowering deficits by making broad spending cuts to…uh…Oh wait! The spending cuts are negligible, and the Senate plan actually adds over $300 billion in brand new spending!

This plan then moved to the GOP-controlled House of Representatives, where Tea Party conservatives looked at it like a turd in a punchbowl. Because a plan which raises taxes (thereby injuring the economy) and raises spending (thereby injuring future generations) is no compromise at all: it’s simply the economy-destroying nightmare that Obama has been demanding.

And while a majority of Republicans voted “no” on the plan – it still passed the House by getting the votes of some alleged Republicans, virtually all of the Democrats, and useless Speaker of the House John “Crybaby” Boehner.

SOoooo, income taxes go up for those earning $400k or more, their capital gains taxes go up, government spending goes up, and no real cuts are made. And remember the sequestration cuts which were supposed to go into effect to finally, finally force politicians to make spending cuts? The morons in Washington have decided to postpone it for a couple of months,  at which point additional postponements will be enacted so often that everyone will get distracted by the impending birth of Kim Kardashian’s bastard child and forget politics and economics altogether.

But that’s not all! As a bonus, the bill grants an extra year of unemployment benefits to thank all of the folks who voted for Barry! Hey, money is no object when it comes to thanking the little people – especially when it’s someone else’s money.

So just how much “deficit reduction” did this “deficit reduction emergency bill” achieve? According to the CBO, it actually adds another $4 trillion to the deficit over the next 10 years. D’oh!!! Some Republican pinheads, who may or may not be named Lindsey Graham, have said that it was important for the GOP to grab their ankles, sell out the American people, and give up any semblance of principle this time around so they could “save the fight for the debt ceiling.”

In all due respect, we strongly disagree with Senator Graham and the horse he rode in on.  We shouldn’t save our strength for “a” fight – we should fight every fight tooth and nail. We should fight about taxes, about deficit reduction, about the debt ceiling, about immigration policy, about the 2nd Amendment, about Obamacare, and about everything else that is destroying our country.

But by “saving their strength,” the moderates and RINOs in the GOP simply showed Barack Obama that they collectively have no strength – and so the fight over the debt ceiling is lost before it begins, as will be the case with the fight after that, and after that, ad nauseum.

Hope n’ Change knows that at New Year’s it’s tradition to drop the ball…we just wish it had been restricted to Times Square instead of the House of Representatives.

Crass?  Somewhat.  Correct?  Dead on, balls accurate!

In two related items from a more….professional viewpoint, Dan Henninger reporst how, since the ’80s, Dims have been intent on….

Repealing Reagan

After trying for 25 years, the Left finally unwinds the Reagan tax legacy.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323374504578217791884587674.html?mod=opinion_newsreel

….and the WSJ offers the details on what is in reality a….

Crony Capitalist Blowout

A tax increase for everyone but the favored wealthy few.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323320404578216583921471560.html?mod=WSJ_Opinion_LEADTop

For those who theorize Boner and Mick Connell didn’t surrender, but are simply saving their powder for the fight ahead, The New Media Journal suggests they have another think coming, as….

Obama Digs in Heals on Debt Ceiling Showdown

Diggin’ in his heels….right into Boehner and McConnell’s ribs!

President Obama scheduled another so-called “fiscal cliff” crisis for February by announcing late Jan. 1 he would refuse to negotiate any curbs on his use of the nation’s maxed-out credit card. “I will not have another debate with this Congress over whether or not they should pay the bills that they’ve already racked up through the laws that they passed,” he claimed during a late-night appearance on the last-minute resolution to the December 2012 fiscal cliff.

However, the GOP-led Congress wants to use its authority over the nation’s debt ceiling to pressure Obama to shrink future spending, not to repudiate existing debts. Obama is expected to add $3.4 trillion to the national debt by 2017. In his first term, he boosted the national debt by $5.8 trillion, up to $16.4 trillion. But on Dec. 31, his government hit the $16.4 trillion limit agreed by Congress and Obama in 2011.

Federal officials say they’ll use a series of financial maneuvers to postpone any problems until February. But sometime after that, Obama’s administration won’t be able to borrow more money, and will have to use day-to-day tax revenues to fund the government’s myriad popular and unpopular programs.

Without any negotiations, Washington will be gripped by another fiscal crisis sometime in February, while the GOP and Obama battle for public support and international lenders consider further downgrades to the nation’s credit ratings.

Obama used his brief appearance Jan. 1 to claim that any limits on the government’s ability to borrow funds would be extremely dangerous. “If Congress refuses to give the United States government the ability to pay [its] bills on time, the consequences for the entire global economy would be catastrophic,” he claimed.

Obama’s refusal to negotiate is partly caused by the GOP’s advantage in any debate over the debt ceiling. (?!?) In the 2011 debt-ceiling dispute, the GOP eventually pressured him to accept spending curbs in exchange for an increase to the debt limit up to $16.4 trillion. (?!?!?)

“GOP advantage”….”GOP eventually pressured him to accept spending curbs”….WHAT version of history has this reporter been watching?!?

So how does a Marxist celebrate after saddling America’s children with another $4 trillion in debt?

Obama In Hawaii, Fiscal Cliff Standoff Behind Him

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, The Gang That Still Can’t Shoot Straight once again cannot resist the urge to open mouth and insert foot:

House leaders pledge to vote on Sandy aid bill amid bipartisan complaints over delay

Speaker John Boehner has assured New York and New Jersey lawmakers that the House will vote on a massive aid package for Superstorm Sandy victims by Jan. 15, after facing bipartisan outrage over a decision late Tuesday to postpone the vote until the next session.

Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y., who earlier in the day lambasted party leaders for the move, reported after a closed-door meeting with the speaker that they were told the House would vote Friday on a $9 billion flood insurance measure, followed by a vote on a $51 billion aid bill Jan. 15. “As far as I’m concerned, I think I can speak for all of the members of the New York and New Jersey delegations, it was an extremely positive meeting,” King said.

Boehner and House Republican Leader Eric Cantor affirmed the plan in a written statement, saying: “Getting critical aid to the victims of Hurricane Sandy should be the first priority in the new Congress, and that was reaffirmed today with members of the New York and New Jersey delegations.”

While the decision still punts a vote until the next session, which starts Thursday, the meeting appeared to calm tensions in the party. King was among the most vocal in his complaints, earlier calling the decision to put off a vote a “disgrace” and “immoral.” He went so far as to urge constituents to stop donating to congressional Republicans. “I’m saying anyone from New York and New Jersey who contributes one penny to congressional Republicans is out of their minds,” King told Fox News. “What they did last night was put a knife in the back of New Yorkers and New Jerseyans.”

As President Obama urged the House to vote, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo also decried the “failure” to act, saying in a statement: “When American citizens are in need we come to their aid. That tradition was abandoned in the House last night.”

When you think about it, it’s only logical; what follows “C” in the alphabet?  (D)

At a press conference earlier in the afternoon, Christie said the blame lies with House Republicans and Boehner himself. “Shame on Congress,” Christie said.

And why, inquiring minds want to know, do House Conservatives object to passing the Sandy relief bill?  Mainly because it has little to do with relief, and one helluva lot to do with….

•$2 million to repair damage to the roofs of museums in Washington, D.C., while many in Hurricane Sandy’s path still have no roof over their own heads.

•$150 million for fisheries as far away from the storm’s path as Alaska.

•$125 million for the Department of Agriculture’s Emergency Watershed Protection program, which helps restore watersheds damaged by wildfires and drought.

•$20 million for a nationwide Water Resources Priorities Study.

•$15 million for NASA facilities, though NASA itself has called its damage from the hurricane ‘minimal.’

•$50 million in subsidies for tree planting on private properties.

•$336 million for taxpayer-supported AMTRAK without any detailed plan for how the money will be spent.

•$5.3 billion for the Army Corps of Engineers – more than the Corps’ annual budget – with no statement of priorities about how to spend the money.

•$12.9 billion for future disaster mitigation activities and studies, without identifying a single way to pay for it.

….the other….

….white meat!

Next up, it’s the Takoma Park Memorial “Emotional, Absolutely Meaningless Responses to Scary Sh*t” segment, brought to you today by The Dear Misleader:

Obama wants gun violence measures passed in 2013

The Obamao rescues Sasha from rising sea levels caused by anthropogenic global warming.

Recalling the shooting rampage that killed 20 first graders as the worst day of his presidency, President Barack Obama on Sunday pledged to put his “full weight” behind legislation aimed at preventing gun violence. Obama voiced skepticism about the National Rifle Association’s proposal to put armed guards in schools following the Dec. 14 tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. The president made his comments in an interview with NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

Instead, the president vowed to rally the American people around an agenda to limit gun violence, adding that he still supports increased background checks and bans on assault weapons and high-capacity bullet magazines. He left no doubt it will be one of his top priorities next year.

“It is not enough for us to say, ‘This is too hard so we’re not going to try,'” Obama said.

“I think there are a vast majority of responsible gun owners out there who recognize that we can’t have a situation in which somebody with severe psychological problems is able to get the kind of high capacity weapons that this individual in Newtown obtained and gun down our kids,” he added. “And, yes, it’s going to be hard.”

Hard is right; particularly on those who cannot afford or aren’t provided 24/7 armed security.  Not to mention the fact no gun ban on earth would have prevented Adam Lanza from committing his heinous crime.

In a related item, as Doug Giles details….

The Assault Weapons Ban Didn’t Work Then and It Won’t Work Now

Senator Dianne Feinstein is queuing up come January 2013 to retable—yet again—an Assault Weapons Ban (AWB) in order to “severely mitigate the possibilities of another Sandy Hook atrocity.” Great idea, Dianne, as the first AWB that Clinton signed into law worked wonders in schools from 1994-2004. It was awesome. It panned out wonderfully aside from the following:

• November 7, 1994: Wickliffe, Ohio: (Wickliffe Middle School shooting) Keith Ledeger, 37, a former student at the school, shot and killed custodian Pete Christopher and wounded four other adults.
• January 12, 1995: Seattle, Washington: A 15-year-old Garfield High School student left school during the day and returned with his grandfather’s 9mm semiautomatic handgun. He wounded two students.
• October 12, 1995: Blackville, South Carolina: (Blackville-Hilda High School shooting) Anthony Sincino, 16, killed one teacher and wounded another before committing suicide.
• November 15, 1995: Lynnville, Tennessee: (Richland High School shooting) James Rouse, 17, killed a student and teacher and seriously wounded another teacher with a .22-caliber rifle.
• February 2, 1996: Moses Lake, Washington: (Frontier Middle School shooting) Barry Loukaitis, 14, killed a teacher and two students and wounded another student when he opened fire on his algebra class.
• August 15, 1996: San Diego, California: (San Diego State University shooting) Frederick Martin Davidson, a 36-year-old graduate student killed three professors that he believed were involved in a conspiracy against him.

Gun laws….there are gun laws?!?

• September 17, 1996: State College, Pennsylvania: (Hetzel Union Building shooting) Jillian Robbins, 19, shoots and kills one student and injures two outside.
• February 19, 1997: Bethel, Alaska: Bethel Regional High School student Evan Ramsey, 16, shot and killed the school’s principal and one student, and wounded two other students.
• October 1, 1997: Pearl, Mississippi: (Pearl High School shooting) Luke Woodham, 16, murdered his mother at home before killing his ex-girlfriend and another student and wounding seven others at Pearl High School. He and his friends were said to be outcasts who worshiped Satan.
• November 27, 1997: West Palm Beach, Florida: Conniston Middle School student Tronneal Magnum, 14, fatally shot Johnpierre Kamel, 14, outside school after an argument over a wristwatch.
• December 1, 1997: West Paducah, Kentucky: (Heath High School shooting) Three students were killed and five wounded by Michael Carneal, 14, as they participated in a prayer circle.
• December 15, 1997: Stamps, Arkansas: Joseph “Colt” Todd, 14, concealed in a wooded area on school grounds, shoots and wounds two students as they were entering Stamps High School.
• March 24, 1998: Craighead County, Arkansas: Mitchell Johnson, 13, and Andrew Golden, 11, killed four students and one teacher and wounded ten others as Westside Middle School emptied during a fire alarm intentionally set off by Golden.
• April 24, 1998: Edinboro, Pennsylvania: (Parker Middle School dance shooting) Andrew Wurst, 14, fatally shot teacher John Gillette, 48, and wounded two students and a teacher at an 8th grade graduation dance.

What’s a barrell shroud?!?

• May 19, 1998: Fayetteville, Tennessee: Jacob Davis, 18, shoots Robert Creson, 18, in a dispute over a girl.
• May 21, 1998: Springfield, Oregon: After killing his parents at home, Kip Kinkel, 15, drove to Thurston High School where he shot and killed two students and wounded 25 others.
• June 15, 1998: Richmond, Virginia: A 14-year-old student of Armstrong High School wounds a teacher and a school volunteer.
• December 10, 1998: Detroit, Michigan: Professor Andrzej Olbrot is killed by graduate student Wlodzimierz Dedecjus, 48.
• April 20, 1999: Littleton, Colorado: (Columbine High School massacre) Eric Harris, 18, and Dylan Klebold, 17, killed 12 students and one teacher, and wounded 21 others before committing suicide at Columbine High School.
• May 20, 1999: Conyers, Georgia: (Heritage High School shooting) Six students injured by Thomas Solomon Jr., 15.
• November 19, 1999: Deming, New Mexico: A 13-year-old girl fatally shot at Deming Middle School by Victor Cordova Jr., 13. Cordova stated he had intended to commit suicide but was jostled by others and the gun moved.
• February 29, 2000: Elementary School, Flint, Michigan: 6-year-old Dedrick Owens, youngest-ever school shooter. Kayla Rolland was the single fatality.
• May 26, 2000: Lake Worth, Florida: Lake Worth Middle School Florida teacher Barry Grunow was fatally shot by his student, 13-year-old Nathaniel Brazill, who had returned to school after being sent home at 1 p.m. by the assistant principal for throwing water balloons. Brazill returned to school on his bike with a 5-inch Raven and four bullets stolen from his grandfather the week before. Brazill was an honor student. Grunow was a popular teacher and Brazill’s favorite.
• August 28, 2000: University of Arkansas shooting at Fayetteville, Arkansas: At approximately 12:14 pm, Dr. John R. Locke, 67, Director of the Comparative Literature Program was shot and killed in his office by James E. Kelly, 36, a Comparative Literature PhD candidate who had recently been dismissed from the program for lack of progress toward his degree. Kelly shot Dr. Locke three times before taking his own life in Dr. Locke’s office after it was cordoned off by campus police.
• September 26, 2000: Darrel Johnson, 13, offender in Louisiana school shooting with 1 student fatality.
• March 5, 2001: Charles Andrew William, age 15, offender in California school shooting at Santana High School, 15 wounded 2 of whom died.
• March 30, 2001: Donald R. Burt Jr., age 18, offender in Indiana school shooting with 1 student fatality.
• September 24, 2003: John Jason McLaughlin, age 15, offender in Minnesota school shooting with 2 student fatalities.
• February 2, 2004: Unidentified offender in Washington, DC school shooting with 1 student fatality.
• May 7, 2004: Unidentified 17-year-old offender in Maryland school shooting with 1 student fatality.

And that’s excluding the Fairchild Air Force Base Massacre in 1994; the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building Massacre in 1995; the Caltrans Maintenance Yard Massacre in 1997; the Connecticut State Lottery Headquarters Massacre in 1998; the Wedgewood Baptist Church Massacre of 1999; the Xerox Office Building Massacre in 1999; the Edgewater Technology Office Massacre in 2000; and the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks which killed nearly 3,000 people (in which the culprits used box cutters and airplanes to pull that one off). We should have had an Assault Box Cutter and Airplane Ban in place I guess.

Yep, excluding the aforementioned, the AWB that the Left put into practice nearly two decades ago really mitigated murderous schoolyard and workplace evil for its ten-year run, right?

Ah, who am I kidding? The Assault Weapons Ban didn’t work. School shootings shot through the roof, and lo and behold killers still found a way around the uber-strict regulations to carry out their death wishes with an assortment of weapons. Yep, correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the biggest spike in school shootings in our nation’s short history occurred during the initial AWB. Google it and get back to me.

Oh, and another thing according to a comprehensive Congressional Research Service report on guns and gun control legislation: Less than 2% of 203,300 state and federal prisoners who were armed during the crime for which they were incarcerated “used, carried, or possessed a semiautomatic assault weapon.” If the hooligans did use a gun it was mostly your normal, non-funky firearm, i.e. mostly hunting guns and non-“assault” weapons. But we can rest assured that the Progressives would never come after our Remington 870s and our revolvers (because they promised). Never. Ever. Ever.

In addition to the AWB not really stemming the tide of gun violence in the public school systems, it sure didn’t calm things down in the “gun-free” Windy City, as Chi-town racked up a whopping 7,636 murders during the Clinton ban. Speaking of Chicago, this year alone 446 kids have been shot where guns have been verboten, and just this week Chicago hit 500 murders that have now occurred in the “gun free” Toddlin’ Town for 2012.

It appears as if our former AWB and our current “gun free” zones don’t work.

Which brings us to the Robert Byrd Memorial “Liberal Hypocrite of the Month” segment, and news that the….

Gun-hating New York Journal News Hires Armed Security After Map Controversy

On the Lighter Side….

Then there’s this from Bob Chagares, detailing the inevitable result of Liberal gun control:

And in the “You Don’t Eat A Pig Like That All At Once” segment:

Wisconsin couple says pet chicken saved them from fire

A Wisconsin couple says clucks, not fire trucks, helped them escape a blaze at their home. Dennis Murawska, 59, said a pet chicken named Cluck Cluck woke his wife Susan Cotey, 52, with loud clucking from its cage in the basement two floors below about 6:15 a.m. Thursday. The couple’s two cats also were running around the main floor.

Murawska said he had been half awake but didn’t know about the fire because the smoke alarms hadn’t gone off. He realized something was wrong when his wife got up. “The chicken gets quite vocal when she gets excited,” he said.

Cluck Cluck came from a nearby farm in Alma Center, about 135 miles east of Minneapolis, Murawska said. When the chicken began wandering over to his house, his neighbor said he could kill it because it wasn’t producing any eggs. But Murawska felt sorry for Cluck Cluck because she had a mutated foot and decided to keep her. He fed the bird and built a coop, and then his wife let Cluck Cluck into the basement on cold nights.

“I spent way more money than I ever should’ve,” Murawska said by telephone. “I guess it paid off.

Mister, you don’t eat a chicken like that all at once! (If you unfamiliar with the joke, contact us and we’ll let you in on the laughs!)

Finally, since we’re on the subject of animals of minimal intelligence, we’ll call it a day with the “Pigs Get Fat, Hogs Go Bankrupt” segment, courtesy of the apparently deaf and dumb:

Loud music gets Sprewell arrested

Sprewell averaged 18.3 points and 4.0 assists over his 13-year career. In 2005, he turned down a three-year, $21 million contract extension from the Timberwolves, stating that he had a family to feed and that owner Glen Taylor had better offer up more money. He finished out the 2004-05 season with the Wolves, but became a free agent afterward.

Though teams were interested in signing Sprewell, he never played another NBA game. His agent, Bob Gist, told Sports Illustrated in November 2005 that Sprewell “might as well retire” rather than play for an NBA minimum contract.

Earlier in his career, he was suspended 68 games by the NBA for a 1997 incident in which he attacked and choked P.J. Carlesimo, his coach with the Golden State Warriors at the time.

Since so many professional basketball players appear ready, willing and able to give their money away, perhaps The Obamao would consider a 100% tax bracket specific to the NBA.

Magoo